Friday, January 14, 2011

And now, the moment we've all been waiting for!

It's happening too much these days, and I'm tired of it.

Far too many people are asking, "Why isn't there a list of the 42 goofiest place names in Texas, organized by theme?" Fret not, masses: your day has come!

In today's hard-paced, fast-wired modern society world, cliches travel faster than a jackrabbit with a jetpack. Your grandmother already knows that China, Paris, Reno, Odessa, and Portland... are all towns in Texas. But "places that aren't in Texas, but actually also are" is the oldest theme around. So, without further adieu, here they are. WARNING: Some towns may be unsuitable for younger readers to learn about and/or visit.

NONSENSE:
Arp
Ding Dong
Dilley
Poteet

AFTERLIFE:
Elysian Fields
Utopia
Paradise
Heckville

POOP:
Chocolate Bayou
Coffee City
Cistern

HIPSTER:
Converse
Bowie
Dime Box

TV CLASSICS:
Elmo
Kermit
Deadwood
Dallas

OHIO:
Chilicothe
Columbus
Dayton
Detroit

ABSTRACT CONCEPTS/SELLING POINTS OF LOBOTOMY:
Comfort
Energy
English
Goodnight
Happy
Impact

CONFUCIAN VIRTUES:
Commerce
Friendship
Humble
Poetry

UMM...:
Guy City
Fairy

WHAT?:
Oatmeal
Negro Crossing
Telephone

DRUNKEN COWBOY ACTIVITIES:
Cut and Shoot
Hoop and Holler
Cusseta Mountain
Ponder

1 comment: